The Vintage Wedding Scrapbook Layout that Almost Wasn't

by - 7:06:00 PM

It's hard for me to admit, but I had mixed feelings about scrapping this photo of my Oma and Opa (grandmother and grandfather) for Prima's February 2015 PPP.  The mixed feelings come from my relationship with my Oma.  
A Vintage Wedding: Uses mixed media and lots of pretty Prima Marketing flowers and patterned papers. | Alice Scraps Wonderland

 For as long as I can remember, she and I have never had a good relationship.  Don't get me wrong, I love her very much but it seems like I never live up to her expectations and I'm always doing and saying the wrong thing.  My own mom said that my Oma "is particularly mean" to me, but neither of us really know why.  I share a lot of the same personality traits that I admire in my Oma--strength and determination, a love for academia, willing to speak her mind…perhaps we are too much alike.    
Prima Marketing's PPP February 2015

But my Oma can also be obsessive about things in general and she grew up learning that love is conditional--even for family members.  My Oma's mother was Jewish, and though she married a Catholic, my great grandparents became Protestants.  My great-grandfather was disaffected with his religion and my great-grandmother was attempting to escape persecution.  My Oma grew up with the fear of being discovered as a Jew, though technically she wasn't one.  The belief of many at the time was that it was a race and not a religion to be believed in and followed.  My Oma survived the Holocaust though she nearly starved to death.  She never was sent to a labor or concentration camp, but many of her mother's family perished in such institutions.  I know this scarred her for life and she has a lot of survivor's guilt.  
A Vintage Wedding: Uses mixed media and lots of pretty Prima Marketing flowers and patterned papers. | Alice Scraps Wonderland
I created the background using inks, stains and mists on a non-stick craft mat, wet down the inks and swiped my white cardstock through it.  Once it was dry, I added gesso with a Prima stencil and later stamped on it using the vintage typewriter keys stamp from Prima's Coffee Break Collection.  
My Oma will be turning 95 this summer and she now needs 24-hour care.  I've been helping
to take care of her for nearly 3 years now (3 full days a week, 2 half days a week and the occasional weekend day when my mom needs to be able to go shopping).  My Oma's mental processing has declined due to age and her somewhat obsessive personality has turned to very obsessive.  It has taken a toll on both my mom and I.  My sister who was married this past summer isn't over at my Oma's as much as I am, but has also recently realized how bad our Oma's condition has gotten in the past few months.  
A Vintage Wedding layout by Alice Scraps Wonderland | A soft pallet of colors plus texture from the gesso makes a great background for a cluster of pretty Prima flowers!
A soft pallet of colors plus texture from the gesso makes a great background for a cluster of pretty Prima flowers!
But the decline in my relationship with my Oma didn't start when I began helping taking care of her; however it started a few years previous to the 24-hour care when she once told me that she hated me, couldn't believe I was her granddaughter and that she never wanted to see me again.  I had always looked up to my Oma--when people would ask me who my heroes were, she was right up there with Gandhi.  After she told me she hated me, my whole world came crashing down.  I've never known what I did (or didn't do) to make her feel that way about me.  Everything I have done was for her approval.  All I ever wanted was her approval and praise.  To learn that my hero "hated" me, devastated me and broke my heart.  
A Vintage Wedding by Alice Scraps Wonderland | Die cut intertwined hearts and sparkly sequins add movement and light to the flower clusters.
Die cut intertwined hearts and sparkly sequins add movement and light to the flower clusters.
My Opa died of emphysema when I was in preschool.  I don't remember much about him other than that he would let me climb up on his hospice bed and play doctor with him even though he was in a lot of pain.  From what my mom has told me of her dad, he was an extraordinary man who evened out my Oma's temper. They were complete opposites--he was quiet and unassuming, didn't go to college but was very handy with tools and served in the army and fought in 3 wars.  My Oma is outspoken, puts a high stake in education (due to her family's Jewish background) and worked civil service for years.  I can't help but wonder if my relationship with my Oma would have been vastly different if my Opa had lived longer.  
A Vintage Wedding by Alice Scraps Wonderland | Mint colored paper adds a pop of blue-green and at the lace medallion adds texture like the gesso.
Mint colored paper adds a pop of blue-green and at the lace medallion adds texture like the gesso.
The day after I made the background portion of this layout and before I started to decorate it, my Oma and I had a huge fight.  All those feelings I've been dealing with internally over the past several years came bubbling back up to the surface.  I was so upset I actually threw my scrapbook page in the trash--I just couldn't imagine how I would be able to scrap that photo.  That night I went and fished the page out of the trash thinking I could use it for a page in my sister's wedding album (it has all the right colors for that album too).  I slept on it and the next day I went ahead and scrapped my Oma and Opa's wedding photo hoping that scrapping and blogging about it would be cathartic.  
A Vintage Wedding by Alice Scraps Wonderland | Hexagon-shaped brads are a cute addition to the flower clusters.
Hexagon-shaped brads are a cute addition to the flower clusters.
There's a little story about this photo--my Oma and Opa didn't have a ceremony or a photographer.  A few years after they were married, my Oma's younger sister Ingrid married.  She knew my Oma and Opa didn't have a wedding photo so she let my Oma borrow her bouquet and the photographer snapped a photo of them.  I really do love this photo.  And despite everything, I still really love my Oma.  I just am not sure how to get over the hurt that my Oma has never really loved me and am at a loss to explain why she feels this way.  
A Vintage Wedding: Uses mixed media and lots of pretty Prima Marketing flowers and patterned papers. | Alice Scraps Wonderland
I'm so glad that I finally came around to scrapping this photo of my Oma and Opa.  It truly was cathartic for me.
So here is to messed up, nutty, loving and unloving extended families.  Because boy do I have one of those!

 Happy Scrapping,
Adrienne

 Products Used
  • Prima:  12x12 Paper Pad- Ledger III; Color Bloom - pearl white; Art Extravagance - heavy gesso in white; Finnibair Elements - 12x12 stencil in scales; Trim - medallion; Mini Sachet - frost, spring; Serenade - turquoise, pink; Soprano - purple; Charlotte - white; Coffee Break - 6x6 paper pad, cappuccino, cling mounted stamps; Lifetime - brads; Romance Novel - wood buttons; Chalk Ink - pastel green, pastel violet, pastel pink; Ingvild Blome - distress tool
  • Tim Holtz:  Distress Ink - dusty concord, spun sugar, victorian velvet; Distress Ink - victorian velvet, seedless preserves
  • Ranger Ink:  Archival Ink - jet black
  • Tattered Angels:  Glimmer Mist - vanilla breeze
  • Heidi Swapp:  Color Shine - raspberry, amethyst
  • Craft Medley:  Sequins - princess
  • Recollections:  12x12 Cardstock - white
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